2000 Grog Awards

Best Quote

Cringe Award

Best NPC

Best Villain

Darkest Hour

Disturbing Image

Greatest Moment

Best Adventure

Best Quote Nominees

• "Attack with sword, chambermaid! Don't fire knitting needles!"
  Liberation of Geoff: The ever-abusive Go-Taro goaded Natashi to close for melee combat rather than firing her bow.
   
• "We could tell him he can kill Malligant, but then he'd just kill Mogdar."
  Liberation of Geoff: Ezren, bargaining with the diabolic creature known as Red, was trying to decide who the cornugon would be allowed to kill. He had recently come to believe that Malligant might be a future version of Mogdar, or at least that expressing such a belief would annoy Mogdar.
   
• "I wish I could feed without everybody getting all upset."
  Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth: Shao Tsang, under the influence of the evil spider-mind in the Cloak of the Elder Arachnids, had learned that he could rejuvenate himself by drinking the blood of his foes. He was, however, still concerned about how his companions would react to this.
   
• "Hens, cease your clucking! Mogdar and I must plan!"
  Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth: Under the same influence mentioned before, the now-evil Shao Tsang expressed his annoyance with Natashi and Dineel's talking while he and Mogdar attemped to assemble a map of the caverns.

Cringe Award Nominees

• Red tortures the cloud giants and kills noncombatant women and children.
  Liberation of Geoff: Summoned by Ezren to aid in their assault on the cloud giant stronghold, Red's behavior was constrained by contractual details. One of the rules was that he could only harm cloud giants. Red used this opening to torture and kill even the harmless ones. See NPC and Villain entries for more about Red.
   
• Party gives away several magic items to a Gygaxian greed trap.
  Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth: The party found a talking statue with a big pile of treasure. It said they could have anything they wanted if they left one magic item of their own for each one they took. Miraculously, the hoard seemed to contain every item they were looking for. Meanwhile, the statue disappeared and ponderous footsteps were heard moving towards the entrance. They ignored this until the golem reappeared in the entrance, blocking them in. Shao Tsang was able to teleport them out but the treasure, of course, was only an illusion, unlike the items they traded in. I can't believe this one didn't win.
   
• Bobo, Isaac, and Tellar murder Grank after accepting his surrender.
  Yatil Mountain High: The party ambushed and exterminated a hobgoblin border patrol and accepted the surrender of the lone survivor, Grank. Grank told them everything they wanted to know, after which these three decided to execute him. Daiten tried to save him, but he was outnumbered. Bobo shot the hobgoblin in the back while he was running away and Isaac, claiming he was going to heal Grank, instead finished him off.
   
• Mogdar accidentally fireballs unconscious Tellar.
  Forgotten Temple of Tharizdun: Charging into the temple, the party was startled to find a swarm of humanoids and soon a pair of trolls. Tellar berserked and they fought. Mogdar called for a retreat and fireballed the room. What he forgot was that Tellar had passed out after berserking and was still in there. Luckily, Tellar survived.

Best NPC Nominees

• Vaf
  Vaf was a frost giant with three heads, none of which were particulary smart. He was, however, friendly and very helpful once the party found a way to communicate with him.
   
• Red
  A cornugon (devil) summoned by Ezren to help them in the final battle against the cloud giants. Before he could release the creature from its binding circle, Ezren had to go through a lengthy bargaining process and sign a contract with it. Red, of course, used every loophole available to wreak havok.
   
• Dineel
  Mostly included to make Robin feel better about not having any good entries in this category, Dineel was the survivor of a demon attack in the Caverns of Tsojcanth. She was mainly there to describe the disturbing origin of the horrid fly-like creatures in the cave (they used to be her companions) and to provide support for the rapidly dwindling party.
   
• Resen
  Leader of the elven resistance in Oytwood. I don't remember much about her.

Best Villain Nominees

• Malligant
  Last year's winner, Malligant poppped up again to manipulate, embarass, and endanger the party. Malligant is a chronomancer who claims to have been Mogdar's teacher, although Mogdar denies this. It was suggested this year that Malligant might actually be Mogdar's future self, but the only evidence was that Malligant lost his magical iron bands when Mogdar came back without his.
   
• Drelnza/Iggwilv
  Iggwilv was the wizard who discovered and used the Caverns of Tsojcanth as a base. Drelnza was her daughter, infused with demonic essence and left in suspended animation as a future host body. It appeared that she might be an ally until the shadow demon that the party had accidentally released from the Temple of Tharizdun arrived. It quickly took over Drelnza's body and attacked.
   
• The Giants
  This alliance included cloud giants, frost giants, fire giants, and an assortment of others. They took over and occupied the Grand Duchy of Geoff. The real masterminds turned out to be the cloud giants, who manipulated the others into helping them.
   
• Red
  A cornugon (devil) summoned by Ezren to help them in the final battle against the cloud giants. Despite a carefully negotiated contract, Red took advantage of several loopholes to carry out his diabolic agenda. His "help" often made things worse instead of better.

• Cloak Spider/Shao Tsang
  After putting on the infamous Cloak of the Elder Arachnids in a desperate moment, Shao Tsang failed to resist its evil influence and became an evil were-spider. When the party later attempted an "intervention" to get the cloak off of him, he became even more monstrous. When the cloak was removed, it became a nasty spider on its own and continued to fight. It was finally destroyed by Go-Taro.

Darkest Hour Nominees

• Party almost killed by giant ticks.
  Liberation of Geoff: While camping in the woods, the party was "ambushed" by giant ticks. After killing ogres, giants, and trolls, the party was nearly wiped out by these rather unimpressive creatures.
   
• Trolls attack outside Pregmere.
  Liberation of Geoff: Wandering up to the fire giant stronghold of Pregmere, the party ran into a group of trolls that nearly tore Shao Tsang in half and made a mess of the others. They barely managed to escape.
   
• Gorgimera turns Tellar to stone.
  Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth: The title pretty much says it all. The party was already depleted by the disappearance of Takagi and August, and Tellar was the only fighter left. The breath of a monstrous cross between a gorgon and a chimera petrified him.
   
• Hordes of troglodytes close in on Mogdar and Natashi.
  Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth: While Shao Tsang was scouting ahead, Mogdar and Natashi found out that they were right in front of a trogoldyte lair. While the trogs swarmed around them, the two huddled under a force dome and waited for Shao Tsang to come back.

Most Disturbing Image Award Nominees

• Bobo's porcupines eat him.
  Forgotten Temple of Tharizdun: Bobo, slain by the vengeful undead corpse of Grank while Ezren (who was supposed to be on watch) was mesmerized by the Lament for Lost Tharizdun, was then devoured by his pet porcupines, who seemed to mutter, "Bobo" as they ate him.
   
• Red's flayed victims beg to be killed.
  Liberation of Geoff: Following Red into the cloud giant stronghold, the party found the cornugon's flayed and mutilated victims begging for the release of death.
   
• Nearly everything in the Temple of Tharizdun
  Forgotten Temple of Tharizdun: Sickening purple tentacles, frozen black obelisks, shadowy forms on mysterious translucent stone walls, talking statues, crusted-over altars, and fat ladies that turn into monstrous steel-skinned hags. These were some of the things that led to this nomination.
   
• Malligant's iron bands disappear after Mogdar loses his.
  Liberation of Geoff: Mogdar lost his iron bands to the greed trap mentioned in the Cringe Awards. When the party next encountered Malligant, he yelled, "What have you done?" and the whole world seemed to come apart. Everything fell together again, but not quite the same.

Greatest Moment Nominees

• Cloak of the Elder Arachnids finally destroyed.
  Liberation of Geoff: The cloak, already mentioned several times here, was finally separated from Shao Tsang and apparently killed in a desperate battle. Before Ezren could tuck it away for study, Go-Taro disintegrated it with a lightning bolt.
   
• Tellar beheads Goroda, cloud giant leader.
  Liberation of Geoff: Tellar had just found the vorpal sword for which his future self would be famous, when the leader of the cloud giants showed up. He took her out with one swing.
   
• Shao Tsang and Mogdar crack the pattern of the Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth.
  Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth: Every time the party found a door to the inner sanctum, they were teleported to a new location in the caverns. After several frustrating teleports and map adjustments, Shao Tsang and Mogdar finally figured out the pattern and found the way in.
   
• Party manages to surprise Malligant with iron bands thing.
  Liberation of Geoff: Although it was also a Disturbing Image, the party did enjoy seeing the look on Malligant's face when his iron bands disappeared and things started going crazy.

Best Adventure Nominees

• Sting of the Thrakazord
  Chaos in a town as wyverns and undead chronomancers wreak havok. Of course it was all orchestrated by Malligant (well, I guess we can't blame him for Zombie Mogdar) to trick the party into going to Oerth and getting framed and exiled.
   
• The Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth
  Sent to retrieve the artifact Daod's Wonderous Lanthorn to help the elves of Oytwood against the giants, the party had to deal with bizarre monsters and a teleportation puzzle before finally confronting the evil they themselves had released from the Temple of Tharizdun.
   
• The Liberation of Geoff
  Adventures 12, 17, and 18. Exiled into the giant-controlled Duchy of Geoff (thanks to Malligant) the party had to evict the monsters or die.